Greetings from cacti land!

Hey out there. I hope everyone is enjoying 2015! I know I am. I've left England behind and I've been in Tempe, Arizona for the past week. Time has zoomed by!

I've been excited and counting down to this trip for a long time and its taken some time to process that it's finally a reality. This trip isn't just about seeing a new bit if the world and having fun, although there will be plenty of that, but I'm also perusing an exciting new relationship. An extra burst of euphoria. Turning a chance meeting on a kibbutz into a, 6 month long, transatlantic in-depth discussion of life, dreams, emotions, and 2 hour long Skype sessions into actually being in the same room together once more, has been one hell of an adventure, in itself.

I'm very much still figuring out what to do next with my life but back in Garstang I felt a little trapped by everything. Location, lack of transport,  and a resulting lack in social circles. Time to try looking at things with fresh eyes. I can't work here, as I am on a tourist visa and US immigration assured me on entering that they would  to quote "hunt me down", if I seek employment. But I'm looking to do some more volunteering and enjoy being in the company of someone who's on the same wavelength as me. I know in the end what I do with my life is completely up to me but it's nice to feel like I don't have to face everything alone. And yes I know that's not true when I'm in England either, my friends and family are great but it's difficult to see that when your daily life seems to invoke such isolation.

Oops this wasn't meant to be such an emotionally fueled post just a round up of what I've been up to, but I guess my inner writer has other ideas.

I guess what I'd really like to say is that I'm following the things I believe in. Love, kindness, that there's more to a human being than what's written on their bank statements each month, in adventure, expanding your horizons and learning from people and the world around you. I might not quite have the balance right but I'm enjoying working on figuring that out!

Here's a few photos to capture this last week's adventures:

The cowboys are on their way!

Goat Kisses

Phoenix is massive!

street art, Tempe

Chinese feast

Green, green its all...wait is that an armchair?

Last week I volunteered with the local Canal and River Trust, cleaning up the Lancaster canal for a few hours.  It was a fun morning spent on a canal boat with fishing nets and rubbish grabbers.   I was a little shocked by how much we came back on the boat with us.   I don't understand why so many people feel the need to throw unopened beer cans or half filled bottles of wine, even the empty ones, crisp packets, take away boxes, everything just chucked  into the canal. I didn't realise people were quite so wasteful and careless.

I personally feel extremely lucky to be living near such beautiful landscapes, but there's obviously a lot of people with no appreciation for our lush green surroundings and waterways. Perhaps they should spent some time in the desert too!

Check out this collection of things we pulled out of the canal and along the verges of the toe path:

In my other volunteering exploits I've been bring new life to some plants, propagating fig trees and lavander and hebes and expanding my plant knowledge massively.  I also made a few festive table decorations with pieces of holly, fern, that kind of thing.   Creativity and practical  aspects of life feeling well and truly satisfied.

The only thing missing some intellectual stimulation!  Although, mi español es mejorar!

The job hunting is fruitless at the moment, but I do have something to look forward to.  I'm leaving the country again on an extremely thin shoe string budget,  in the new year! I'm off to Arizona to spend time with a guy I bumped into at the kibbutz in my last few weeks in Israel,  and haven't stopped talking to since. I feel like I'm kicking off some gossip generator in the ex Ein Hashlosha volunteer network, you'll be sitting there figuring out who it is.   I'm  incredibly excited about flying out there,  but I have 5 weeks before then to make the most of.
I'm looking forward to a Christmas at home with the family, after last years hard work and stress in trying to create some sense of Christmas on the kibbutz.  It had its fun moments and it was certainly memorable, but this time I'll know exactly what to expect,  which can be nice once in a while.  

Having a year away from the UK over the Christmas period, does seem to have meant I missed the arrival of us deciding to join in the with America's mass consumerism fests. Black Friday did not exist in England before I left for Israel, I swear.  Those supermarket fights were
shocking!  Please try to engage in civilised Christmas shopping people.



Hope you're enjoying this extra warm and sunny festive period!

Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London

 

London, London you are filled with endless possibilities.  Its's quite overwhelming the range of places you can go and the vast amount art and culture that litter your streets and buildings.

The back garden!

I've just returned from 6 days of looking after a beautiful bloodhound and two adorable cats in north London.  Not only did I get free food and accommodation in exchange for my services, I also got some cash in hand to be able to enjoy myself while I was there (money whoopee!).  In between dog walking, where I got to enjoy London's green spaces on a daily basis, I managed to figure out one or two things that really stood out on my map of must sees in London. 

Having done most of the major central tourist attractions I am interested in a month or so back, when I was there last with the Koreans, and important stuff like the Science museum on previous visits, I decided to go a wander through the artsy, alternative, retro, hippie type world of Brick Lane and check out their Sunday market. 

World food stalls, vintage clothes, ridiculous queues for bagels and great street art was very much right up my street (apologise for the bad pun).  My favourite parts of
the day was getting a free sample of handmade chocolate from a guy working  in the chocolate shop on Brick Lane and his comments abut feeling like Jesus.  As soon as he appeared at the door with baskets of chocolate a steady flow of chocolate lovers swarmed towards him through the crowds of passers by. My lunch was pretty great too, delicious Jamaican lamb stew with rice eaten in the hustle and bustle of the street stalls while the guy on the right serenaded me with No Woman No Cry.  Good timing, Mr Busker.   

Sleeping Snowball

At the top of on my list of things to do in London was to check out Spoken Word London. I had hoped to build on my National Poetry Day experiences, with another performance of the same poem but with the added element of reciting it instead of just reading it.  Unfortunately, my underestimation of how long it takes to travel across London meant that I didn't quite get there in time to sign up.  

All was not lost none the less,  I saw some fabulous performances! There was a really diverse range of voices and subjects,and I got talking to quite a few people in the intervals too. A real friendly and open minded bunch. There was even one guy who stripped off completely naked during his first poem and kept his clothes off for the rest of his 5 minute stint.  That was definitely a first, a little distracting I have to say, but it worked well with the message in his words and certainly makes it a memorable evening.

Me and Minie

Izzy

I'll definitely be keeping my eyes peeled for events like this, a little closer to home, in the future. 

There's nothing quite like recieving a kick up the arse from your friends

I don't usually post on such a regular basis but after my last post on my attempts to find employment, I received some daunting fodder for thought. It came from not one but two of my friends. They don't know each other either, living on different sides of the Atlantic ocean.

I don't want to share all of it with you, as its a bit too raw and personal for here in my opinion. Let's just say there was a lot of calls to aim higher. It's great to have friends who recognise and acknowledge your potential and are willing to poke you with a stick of realisation, when they think you've missed the mark. I'd like to thank you both for that.

All the same it wasn't one the most easy things to be on the receiving end of. Mainly cos I have no idea how to start pursing something I feel is bigger than me, out of my reach. Where do I go from here?

That's not strictly true. I know I can look to the things I enjoy, the things I'm passionate about but crystalising those things into something more than interests is quite the task. Even trying to pin one single thing down to throw my energy at and pursue is a tangled mess of indecision. I am working on trying to line up some ways to pursue writing and journalism in 2015, so that should be a step in the right direction.

One last thought, it does feel amazing to realise how much your friends believe in you.

Entering the world of earning money, the final hurdle, attempt 2: close but no cigar

On Wednesday I had another job interview! (I really enjoy these things haha)
A cafe assistant managers post, in a cafe that's part of a community project helping vulnerable adults. This interview went even better than the one for the local supermarket position. I had the same food vision as the manager of the cafe about local produce and trying to introduce organic food, whilst trying to keep prices low and accessible for everyone.

The interview allowed me to really use my creativity on menu ideas and how to improve customers experience in the cafe. I'd had a few weeks to think about it all and I was brimming with ideas and possibilities. The people interviewing me, were clearly as enthusiastic about my ideas as I was. It was nice to have a conversation where everyone is on the same wavelength.

But once again my efforts just weren't enough to get me employed and earning money. I got really good helpful feedback on the phone though, so I know exactly what I was missing. The two other candidates had previous hands on experience of working with vulnerable adults and I don't. And to pretty much quote my feedback, if working with vulnerable adults hadn't been in the job description I would have got the job.

That's kind of a frustrating reason in itself because I have been trying to get that experience through a voluntary position, but due to factors outside my control I'm still waiting for legal approval of application.

Poor timing world, poor timing.

I do feel like I'm getting closer each time though, and getting better at presenting myself to potential employers. All this learning has to pay off at some point, right?

Anyway I'm in London house, dog and cat sitting to boost my bank account temporarily. Going to be making the most of the vast amount of things to do on my doorstep, so I should have an interesting update for here some time soon.

Found this on the Black Swan Buskers Facebook
page from my outing in Alnwick the other week

The best way to celebrate National Poetry Day

On Thursday (2nd October) it was National Poetry day in the UK and this year I've made sure to acknowledge it in all its glory.

Check out the beautiful Alnwick Gardens

I started the day by completing another toiled over job application and getting that sent off, so I could forget about it and get on with enjoying life. Finishing that off literally took all morning. Then it was time to head to Preston train station, to start what became a 6 hour cross country journey to the beautiful town of Alnwick (where the castle grounds were used for the quidditch scenes in Harry Potter).

The actual moving from one point to another in a moving vehicle isn't that long its just the waiting around at one station after another.  I caught 3 different trains and a bus before I got to the Bailiffgate Museum, where one of my close friends was hosting an evening of open mic poetry.   We hadn't seen each other for a year and I managed to pluck up the courage to do my first performance of one of my own poems. It was an amazing evening, jammed packed with adrenalin highs, good company and good beer.  

The massive sense of achievement after sharing my piece with the lovely audience, in a beautiful venue, was unreal.  I felt like I was flying!  My nerves were definitely present with me on stage, but I managed to protect my voice from them. I felt like I managed to get almost every bit of intonation and expression into my act, just as I had envisioned when I'd played it through in my head a million times before. 

In fact you could even say my nerves added an extra element of comedy to the poem.  Imagine the hands that are holding the piece of paper containing the all important words shaking like someone planted jumping beans in my fingers and the paper is the heat source that gets then going.  As I read the line 'But it all seems so fear tremblingly impossible!' in a poem about the fears of speaking out loud, one cant help but smile.

As if the emotional high from all that wasn't enough I also got to bust out 3 covers of songs with a guitar at a local pub open mic night,  once the poetry session was over.  

Did any of you guys do anything exciting for National Poetry Day?

A search for new possibilities in the great mystery of earning money

A hell of a lot has been going on in the world of Anna since we last spoke. Here's a quick stripped down catch up:

• Started attending a local public speaking self help group (for ladies only)
• Attended a Quaker meeting (Technically 2, although one was a film about Benjamin Britten)
• Applied for a job at a local supermarket, with values that overlap a great deal with my own 
• Went to London and stayed with my worldly and opinionated uncle 
• In London spent time with Eunji (Ein Hashloasha reunion) and her friend, from her home town in South Korea.
• Prepared a creative and insightful speech on 'rubbish' for my speakers group and practised my rubbish speech regularly 
• Came down with a cold 
• Had to postpone my first speech performance to focus on getting better and avoid passing on my germs to the lovely ladies of Garstang
• Started learning a little bit of Spanish everyday (Duolingo is a fantastic app!)
• Had an interview for the aforementioned job 
• Genuinely enjoyed being interviewed for the first time, ever.
• Took my Ukulele up on stage with me to sing a song for the first time  
• Ended up with yet another one of those, oh so familiar, "you've been unsuccessful" emails, after my interview

As you might already be able to tell, its been quite the mix of highs and lows. At the moment I've got this underlying feeling of frustration.  Once again my attempts  to gain that necessary evil that makes the world go round, money, has fallen at the last hurdle.  I truly believe I gave them my all and for once managed to get that opportunity, to show myself beyond a collection of carefully formed and ordered letters in black and white. It still didn't work out.

I've already emailed and asked for the reason why I wasn't successful.  It's important to learn form these things but I have my suspicions that's it's to do with the lack of grounding commitments in my life.  Things to make me stay working at that same place.  I'm a bit too flexible.  A unpredictable risky investment if you like (my inner economist does make an appearance once in a while). 

I came across this quote in a TED Talk

Short of telling lies about how I like to live my life,  I don't see how I can beat this overriding need for security, in the employers available to me in my local area.   Valuing honesty and integrity so highly, I like to try and keep lies (that do not serve as art) consciously avoided in my life.   

So its time to try something new, do something differently.  To me there seems to be two possible options either I try finding or creating different kinds of money earning opportunities, aka a different type of job in a different market or I move to a city where there tend to be openly short term or temporary jobs on offer.  Maybe even a combination of both is necessary.   

Each comes with its own trials and tribulations but I'd love to hear if any of you out there,  have any ideas you could throw my way on the subject?  Any ideas at all.The sublime, the ridiculous,  the comical, or even those that might seem down right obvious to you, all have the potential to spark some trail of inspiration in the right direction.  I'm not sure if you guys will respond to this or not, but I hope you do. I encourage you to leave a comment, email or Facebook message if you've got any insight into the world of earning money you'd like to share.  

Here's a link to the TED talk I got the quote from if you're interested:Mac Barnett: Why a good book is a secret door

My lovely Korean friends experience a Full English Breakfast.