There's nothing quite like recieving a kick up the arse from your friends

I don't usually post on such a regular basis but after my last post on my attempts to find employment, I received some daunting fodder for thought. It came from not one but two of my friends. They don't know each other either, living on different sides of the Atlantic ocean.

I don't want to share all of it with you, as its a bit too raw and personal for here in my opinion. Let's just say there was a lot of calls to aim higher. It's great to have friends who recognise and acknowledge your potential and are willing to poke you with a stick of realisation, when they think you've missed the mark. I'd like to thank you both for that.

All the same it wasn't one the most easy things to be on the receiving end of. Mainly cos I have no idea how to start pursing something I feel is bigger than me, out of my reach. Where do I go from here?

That's not strictly true. I know I can look to the things I enjoy, the things I'm passionate about but crystalising those things into something more than interests is quite the task. Even trying to pin one single thing down to throw my energy at and pursue is a tangled mess of indecision. I am working on trying to line up some ways to pursue writing and journalism in 2015, so that should be a step in the right direction.

One last thought, it does feel amazing to realise how much your friends believe in you.

Entering the world of earning money, the final hurdle, attempt 2: close but no cigar

On Wednesday I had another job interview! (I really enjoy these things haha)
A cafe assistant managers post, in a cafe that's part of a community project helping vulnerable adults. This interview went even better than the one for the local supermarket position. I had the same food vision as the manager of the cafe about local produce and trying to introduce organic food, whilst trying to keep prices low and accessible for everyone.

The interview allowed me to really use my creativity on menu ideas and how to improve customers experience in the cafe. I'd had a few weeks to think about it all and I was brimming with ideas and possibilities. The people interviewing me, were clearly as enthusiastic about my ideas as I was. It was nice to have a conversation where everyone is on the same wavelength.

But once again my efforts just weren't enough to get me employed and earning money. I got really good helpful feedback on the phone though, so I know exactly what I was missing. The two other candidates had previous hands on experience of working with vulnerable adults and I don't. And to pretty much quote my feedback, if working with vulnerable adults hadn't been in the job description I would have got the job.

That's kind of a frustrating reason in itself because I have been trying to get that experience through a voluntary position, but due to factors outside my control I'm still waiting for legal approval of application.

Poor timing world, poor timing.

I do feel like I'm getting closer each time though, and getting better at presenting myself to potential employers. All this learning has to pay off at some point, right?

Anyway I'm in London house, dog and cat sitting to boost my bank account temporarily. Going to be making the most of the vast amount of things to do on my doorstep, so I should have an interesting update for here some time soon.

Found this on the Black Swan Buskers Facebook
page from my outing in Alnwick the other week

The best way to celebrate National Poetry Day

On Thursday (2nd October) it was National Poetry day in the UK and this year I've made sure to acknowledge it in all its glory.

Check out the beautiful Alnwick Gardens

I started the day by completing another toiled over job application and getting that sent off, so I could forget about it and get on with enjoying life. Finishing that off literally took all morning. Then it was time to head to Preston train station, to start what became a 6 hour cross country journey to the beautiful town of Alnwick (where the castle grounds were used for the quidditch scenes in Harry Potter).

The actual moving from one point to another in a moving vehicle isn't that long its just the waiting around at one station after another.  I caught 3 different trains and a bus before I got to the Bailiffgate Museum, where one of my close friends was hosting an evening of open mic poetry.   We hadn't seen each other for a year and I managed to pluck up the courage to do my first performance of one of my own poems. It was an amazing evening, jammed packed with adrenalin highs, good company and good beer.  

The massive sense of achievement after sharing my piece with the lovely audience, in a beautiful venue, was unreal.  I felt like I was flying!  My nerves were definitely present with me on stage, but I managed to protect my voice from them. I felt like I managed to get almost every bit of intonation and expression into my act, just as I had envisioned when I'd played it through in my head a million times before. 

In fact you could even say my nerves added an extra element of comedy to the poem.  Imagine the hands that are holding the piece of paper containing the all important words shaking like someone planted jumping beans in my fingers and the paper is the heat source that gets then going.  As I read the line 'But it all seems so fear tremblingly impossible!' in a poem about the fears of speaking out loud, one cant help but smile.

As if the emotional high from all that wasn't enough I also got to bust out 3 covers of songs with a guitar at a local pub open mic night,  once the poetry session was over.  

Did any of you guys do anything exciting for National Poetry Day?

A search for new possibilities in the great mystery of earning money

A hell of a lot has been going on in the world of Anna since we last spoke. Here's a quick stripped down catch up:

• Started attending a local public speaking self help group (for ladies only)
• Attended a Quaker meeting (Technically 2, although one was a film about Benjamin Britten)
• Applied for a job at a local supermarket, with values that overlap a great deal with my own 
• Went to London and stayed with my worldly and opinionated uncle 
• In London spent time with Eunji (Ein Hashloasha reunion) and her friend, from her home town in South Korea.
• Prepared a creative and insightful speech on 'rubbish' for my speakers group and practised my rubbish speech regularly 
• Came down with a cold 
• Had to postpone my first speech performance to focus on getting better and avoid passing on my germs to the lovely ladies of Garstang
• Started learning a little bit of Spanish everyday (Duolingo is a fantastic app!)
• Had an interview for the aforementioned job 
• Genuinely enjoyed being interviewed for the first time, ever.
• Took my Ukulele up on stage with me to sing a song for the first time  
• Ended up with yet another one of those, oh so familiar, "you've been unsuccessful" emails, after my interview

As you might already be able to tell, its been quite the mix of highs and lows. At the moment I've got this underlying feeling of frustration.  Once again my attempts  to gain that necessary evil that makes the world go round, money, has fallen at the last hurdle.  I truly believe I gave them my all and for once managed to get that opportunity, to show myself beyond a collection of carefully formed and ordered letters in black and white. It still didn't work out.

I've already emailed and asked for the reason why I wasn't successful.  It's important to learn form these things but I have my suspicions that's it's to do with the lack of grounding commitments in my life.  Things to make me stay working at that same place.  I'm a bit too flexible.  A unpredictable risky investment if you like (my inner economist does make an appearance once in a while). 

I came across this quote in a TED Talk

Short of telling lies about how I like to live my life,  I don't see how I can beat this overriding need for security, in the employers available to me in my local area.   Valuing honesty and integrity so highly, I like to try and keep lies (that do not serve as art) consciously avoided in my life.   

So its time to try something new, do something differently.  To me there seems to be two possible options either I try finding or creating different kinds of money earning opportunities, aka a different type of job in a different market or I move to a city where there tend to be openly short term or temporary jobs on offer.  Maybe even a combination of both is necessary.   

Each comes with its own trials and tribulations but I'd love to hear if any of you out there,  have any ideas you could throw my way on the subject?  Any ideas at all.The sublime, the ridiculous,  the comical, or even those that might seem down right obvious to you, all have the potential to spark some trail of inspiration in the right direction.  I'm not sure if you guys will respond to this or not, but I hope you do. I encourage you to leave a comment, email or Facebook message if you've got any insight into the world of earning money you'd like to share.  

Here's a link to the TED talk I got the quote from if you're interested:Mac Barnett: Why a good book is a secret door

My lovely Korean friends experience a Full English Breakfast.

We are all tourists in this life. Enjoy it!

Coming home can sometimes be a little bit of a let down after the excitement of living in a foreign country, with its new culture, language, history, and landscapes to explore.  However as one of my

Dig the City festival

transatlantic friends pointed it out its  important to remember 'We are all tourists in this life'.  Just because in your in the place you call home doesn't mean there aren't exciting and interesting things going on on your doorstep.  I bet you haven't even explored all of your local tourist attractions or might not even be aware of what they are! Try your local tourist office website to find out what's going on just down the road.. 

That's what I did at the weekend.  I discovered that Manchester had an urban gardening festival on.  Dig in the City so I asked my dad to come check it out with me. We had a great time wandering around all the displays and talking to local community groups about their work in communal gardening projects.  We also got to have a good catch up over coffee and  a nice meal after 9 months of sporadic communication, while I was in Israel.

My favourite garden at the festival. An optical illusion.
 There was an exact mirror image on the other side of  
the screens you can see in the background

Oh I almost forgot the wedding.  The day spent with Mr and Mrs Jones was lovely.  Everything and everyone looked beautiful.  Especially the surprise arrival of the bride in a horse and cart!  The ceremony went well even if there were a few surprising tears from some people and I had a fantastic time getting drunk with the bride and grooms family and friends at the evening do.


On Monday I made a list minute trip up to Edinburgh on the train to stay at my aunts with my mum, as she was on her way home from a holiday in the Isle of Skye. As I pulled into Edinburgh station it dawned on me that I should try and see my sister why I was there!  Luckily she was not working and we had the whole afternoon to fill each other in on our lives.  Then mum came to pick me up and the three of us went to dinner together.  It was a glorious unplanned event. It's so nice when things like that just come together with hardly any effort. 

Here's a few other highlights from the gardening festival, where we also discover Manchester Cathedral for the first time!

So get out there and explore your local museums, cathedrals, festivals and general places of interest!
 

Creativity is a strange creature

I've spending a lot of time writing poetry recently. It's something I've done for many years on and off but never really had the will or the confidence to share it with everyone. 

I didn't write at all on the kibbutz as I didn't have the time or space on my own. To just sit and be with my own thoughts. Now I'm home and a little isolated with no car in the middle of the English countryside it's pretty easy to get things down on paper.

This is a first as I'm quite enjoying sharing my experiences with everyone I'm going to post something I've penned. Here's a tiny part of my soul exposed to the world, or that's what it feels like.
This is based on the following quote: 
"It was rather beautiful:the way he put her insecurities yo sleep. The way he dove into her eyes and staves all the fears and tested the dreams she kept coiled beneath her bones." Christopher Poindexter

The Knight of Humanity 

By Anna Noble

Sordid words arch through the sky, as they leave the bows of the mockery army 
Her wall is built and the defences hold strong. She is protected.
But behind those walls her fears and dreams long for freedom.

One man fights his way through the front line. Not with brutality and force 
But an aura of warmth and love. He sees past her fortress to the beauty of the land beyond
With determination and patience he valiantly steps inside her gates
Stares deep into her eyes and wills her to reach out.

With each gentle caress he slowly removes a brick in her wall
and cradles her trembling thoughts,  as they escape from her lips.
Each spoken exchange of trust and acceptance, her belief in humanity builds.
The wounded and the dying are finally put to rest and his nurturing heart 
means her dreams begin to flourish. 

If I still have your attention then you can probably see the Israel Hamas conflict and war in general has been playing a lot on my mind. Even though I'm not in the country anymore I feel a deep involvement in what's going on. My  friends and acquaintances are still living out there and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight right now, which is difficult to deal with. 

My friends wedding is on Saturday so I have that to look forward to later in the week. Aside from that I've a collection of books to read in the sunshine and a few things to do in my mum's garden.

My library finds

Home and the sun is shining!

Debra & I at Liverpool Docks

I am still wearing shorts and I am in England.  I am impressed.  It's a nice welcome home.   Everything is pretty much the same here, as I expected.  Back at Ein Hashlosha all my fellow volunteers have been evacuted to a kibbutz in the north or down in Eilat.  I have been following the conflict closely on the BBC and Times of Israel and feeling relieved that I left when I did. 

 I have just finished an application for a  job at a local garden centre so I am allowing myself to blog again.  A fair amount has been happening in my first week home.

I managed to catch up with Debra in Liverpool, the very first volunteer I met on the kibbutz, before she makes Aliyah (becomes an Israeli citizen).  We had a good catch up over a pub lunch and a nice wander around Liverpool.  She has now in Jerusalem and about to start learning Hebrew.  Good luck Debra!

On Saturday my best friend organized a BBQ with friends and with pork being the only meat on the menu!  To celebrate being home from the land of Kosher food.  Her slow cooked pulled pork was the best with homemade coleslaw, and the delicious sausages.  Thanks to Sam and everyone else who came along for the feast and fun.

Amazingly I still had room for a bacon sandwich for lunch on Sunday.   There is nothing quite like the taste of bacon even when you think you couldn't possibly eat anymore pork.

My aunt and uncle also stopped by to say hello on Friday afternoon. Unlike my previous ventures away I didn't have to spend ages explaining what I had been up to, all the while wandering if I'm just talking to much, as they had been following everything on here!  Not that everything makes it to a world wide web audience but it does make returning home simpler.